The Destination Wedding Clarity List
If the beginning of the year brought with it a whole lot of overwhelm to get the wheels in motion to plan your wedding. And yet you’re a few weeks in & you don’t feel like you’ve made any progress, then this list is for you.
Once you’re clear on the points below, it’s only then you can make practical steps & move down the right path for you both.
Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day my loves, and neither will your wedding day. Particularly now you’re looking for a destination wedding in Europe, it might feel you have opened up a can of worms!
If you’re just engaged, then my goodness it must feel like you’ve walked into a minefield. I’ve been in the industry for 10 years & every New Year comes around with a weight of pressure & bombard us with the endless “listicles” & MUST DO’s. And this year, with our external world muddled & disorientated, the noise feels louder than ever.
If you’re unclear on your wedding plans, feeling unmotivated & at a loss, with a few wasted evenings down internet rabbit holes… I invite you to shut off the noise & listen to your own mind & each other as a couple.
We’re constantly looking for the blue print on “how to do …” and with the internet at our fingertips, the possibilities are endless. It’s a task to really listen to our intuition & what is truly best for us.
Inspired by the turn of phrase coined by @simplethingsmag - the COULD-DO list (note: not a TO-DO list!), I wanted to produce meaningful prompts to help guide your ideas & unravel your thinking when sitting down to plan your wedding. If you’re clear on the five topics below, it will save you time & energy. And inject a sense of ease & excitement planning your wedding.
So here’s The wedding Clarity list for those engaged couples thinking about a destination wedding…
… turn off the screens, get a pen & paper, your partner & something fun to drink (my current choice is Lilt - anything to get that holiday feeling!).
1) Nail doWn WHY you want a destination weddinG
This feels really simple, but first asking yourself why a destination wedding is right for you is absolutely necessary.
This can be helpful for you both - your partner might raise a point that you hadn’t considered or realised was important to them. Acknowledging this & respecting the ‘why’s’ throughout can make for more harmonious conversations.
When it comes to on-boarding your wedding team, aligning them on your why builds trust & compassion. You’re all singing from the same song sheet!
Like anything truly worth having, there’s effort & work behind it. When inevitable tough choices or curve balls come your way, coming back to your why grounds you back to what’s truly important. Your next move will be clear.
Write them down, internalise them, be comfortable with the choice you’re making & commit to it!
A few examples I often hear in consultations
We fell in love with this location & we can’t picture getting married anywhere else!
The warm climate & atmosphere
Our family dynamics can be strained, having everyone in a relaxed & non traditional setting would ease this
We’d like an intimate wedding with fewer guests
The cuisine & culture
More quality time with our friends & family
We have guests travelling from different locations
2) your budget - what are You willing to sPend?
This is a tough one, as it’s likely you won’t have planned an event or wedding before, how are you meant to know how much a wedding costs?
But see, that’s not what I’m asking, the question is, what are you willing & comfortable spending on your wedding celebrations?
Remember the difference between…
“the wedding of your dreams & the wedding oF your means”
Quote from Terrica (Cocktails by Terrica)
I take an honest approach when it comes to your wedding budget. It’s time to be clear & honest with yourselves from the very beginning.
This will need consistent attention throughout the planning. Revisit your numbers when making key decisions. But for now, come to an understanding of what is comfortable for you.
To start, here are some prompts;
What is the range? Helpful to think of a minimum, comfortable & a maximum (to include a buffer).
For a destination wedding, it can be useful to have four pots for budgeting;
- Pre wedding; Wedding Attire, Rings, Wedding Planner, Insurance etc.
- On the day costs; all costs that happen on your wedding day
- Surrounding events & activities
- Travel, accommodation & honeymoon
3) When Do You Want to get married?
Even as a wedding planner, I understand your wedding isn’t the only thing going on in your life. A change in your career, a house move or family planning, and it’s not unheard of that they can happen all at once! Be realistic with those life events.
Without getting too caught up in external world & the current global pandemic, explore your feelings on your flexibility & the boundaries you have in regards to the when of your wedding.
It’s important to set a date to have something to work towards, otherwise uncertainty sets in where fear, paralysis & stress can grow.
Moving forward with that date, my approach is to risk assess & understand the terms in order to make the most comfortable decision with the information we have at the time.
Here are some prompts;
Choose an ideal date/month/season/year
Explore your flexibility & boundaries with this date
Define a weekday or weekend (or both!)
4) What are your non- NEGOTIABLEs?
It’s important to be clear on your deal breakers. What are your essentials & can’t imagine having your wedding without.
Suggestion prompts;
Guests (if any for elopement couples!)
Destination
Children attending
Symbolic/legal/religious ceremony
Accommodation onsite
Sentimental details
Your surrounding landscape
Type of venue
There is need for acknowledgment that there are factors outside of our control. While planning a destination wedding under the current circumstances with Covid-19 & in a global pandemic, it really is no picnic. However, for the purposes of getting your own clarity & setting your own boundaries, keep this question really simple. Would you be comfortable in these three scenarios;
Having a micro wedding, with 30 or fewer guests
Getting legally married now & partying at a later date
Postponing until it’s safe to celebrate
If you have any further concerns, please do pick up the phone, send a message or book onto a call. I’d be happy to give advice or be a pair of listening ears.
5) What are you most looking forward to on your wedding day?
This is my favourite question to ask!
Keep these as your priorities & consider these the most important elements where you might make your investments.
This can often link back to the first question of why you’re having a destination wedding.
I can’t wait to hear them!
